Categories
2018 Racing Season

F1 – The Silliest Season of All

Over the past month I feel like the racing news and action has been coming at me faster than the Penske PC-23b motoring across the row of bricks at Indy back in ‘94.  Every time I pick up my phone to check the latest, which is approaching borderline unhealthy numbers, I’m left feeling like I’m sitting in the 3rd row at the Silver Dollar Speedway in Chico as the World of Outlaw cars are hot lapping.    

 

On the track we have this intriguing Drive For 5.  Scott Dixon just bagged his 5th Indycar title, Lewis Hamilton looks to be on his way to 5 F1 titles, and Marc Marquez is close to claiming 5 MotoGP crowns.  But as usual, it’s the silly season that is proving to be irresistible clickbait for me every time I feel the urge to pick up my damn phone. And because of the historical significance of the moves taking place off the track, I’m feeling the need to recap the facts and intersperse my own narrative, or good old fake news, to spice it up a bit.  This blog is supposed to be entertainment after all.

 

So, here is a unique perspective on what has really transpired behind the scenes:

 

The Silliest Season Of All

 

Danny Ric had just captured the Chinese and Monaco GP’s in thrilling fashion and clearly had the upper hand on his struggling teammate, Max Verstappen, when suddenly the tables were turned at the next race in Montreal.  In post race interviews, Danny alluded to an unspecified equipment deficit to his teammate and added a knowing wink to the camera for good measure. Over the next six races leading to the summer break, Danny had 2 DNF’s and zero podiums, while Max had 3 podiums, including a win in Austria, making Danny the forgotten man at RBR.  It still seemed like a foregone conclusion that Danny would sign a new contract with the team that had supported his career since the junior ranks, especially after calls to Mercedes and Ferrari were unsuccessful, but Danny was having second thoughts. His only goal left was a title and time was no longer on his side.

 

Hearing grumblings from his engineers on the inside that all might not be rosy at RBR between Danny and management, Cyril Abiteboul formulated a plan and immediately boarded the Renault corporate jet and set off for an undisclosed island in the Indian ocean where Ricciardo was rumored to be holed up.  After 36 hours of travel spanning a 10 mile archipelago in a dingy with a crazy local guide hopped up on khat, Cyril found the Aussie dead drunk in a bamboo hut.

 

He tried calling his name and throwing towels on Danny in an attempt to wake him, but soon he too was overcome with fatigue and dozed off on the couch in the next room.  The next morning Cryil woke to a freezing sensation and quickly realized that Ricciardo was dumping a pitcher of ice water over his head and having a good laugh about it.  

 

Over breakfast and throughout the rest of the day, Arbiteboul sold Danny on the potential of Renault and more importantly, the satisfaction they would get from kicking a little Red Bull ass.  Danny liked what he was hearing, and after Arbiteboul agreed to drink a potent local concoction out of his lucky racing boot that he always travels with, Danny signed and it was game on for the silly season!

 

Christian Horner was home in England sipping tea and speaking to his wife Geri about her upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour when the phone rang and the reporter asked for his thoughts on Danny signing with Renault.  Horner thought it was a joke and hung up, but seconds later Helmet Marko texted him a picture from Danny’s Instagram account showing the Aussie smiling on a beach in a Renault shirt with a pretty girl on his arm and a spider monkey in his lap with the caption:  “A new chapter begins now.” Horner panicked for a few minutes before regaining his composure and phoning both Fernando Alonso and Carlos Sainz. Both men seemed excited by the prospects, but then Jos Verstappen’s name appeared in his phone and he knew what was coming next.  Jos was on speaker with Max and the family lawyer and after exchanging pleasantries, they cut to the chase and reminded Christian that they had an out should RBR sign either Alonso or Sainz. Christian tried to appease the Verstappen’s by stating that he would never consider calling either Spaniard, and hung up a frightened man.  After a quick conference call with the Austrian brass, it was decided then that the next man up was Pierre Gasly. When Horner rang Gasly, it was clear that Pierre was at an all night rave on Ibiza and after delivering the news, Gasly yelled into his phone over the banging house beat, “Je t’aime Christian!” and promptly hung up.

 

When Fernando received the call back from Horner saying there was no deal, he knew his F1 career was over, as both Vettel and Lewis have No Fernando clauses in their contracts.  The thought of driving around in an uncompetitive car where one cannot even engage in wheel to wheel racing without sacrificing huge chunks of time no longer appealed, so he phoned Zak Brown and said it’s time for a new adventure.  Zak sensed that his days of collecting fat McLaren checks were rapidly coming to an end, so he did what any great salesmen would do and promised Fred a fun filled year in Indycar with a top team, momentarily forgetting that Honda have McLaren on a worldwide 100 year boycott.  Zak then quickly filled the Fernando void with a call to the latest Red Bull castoff, Carlos Sainz, and made the shrewd move to drop Stoffel Vandoorne and roll the dice on boy wonder Lando Norris.

 

At about the same moment that Fernando was deciding his fate, Lawrence Stroll was meeting with his accountant and was being reminded that his Williams bill was rather large and his ROI was nill.  Mr Stroll wasn’t happy seeing Lance mope around the house over the summer break so he decided then to do what any respectable racing father would do, he bought Force India. Williams was hurting his family’s reputation, and with Force India in the portfolio, it’s a win-win giving Lance the opportunity to live out his dreams and allowing Sr a place at the table in shaping the future of the sport.  

 

The previous night Esteban Ocon had gone to bed feeling on top of the world.  He was just 20 and had the F1 world in the palm of his hands. But his euphoria quickly gave way to fear when he awoke and saw that his Twitter and Instagram accounts were blowing up with news of Ricciardo signing with Renault and the Strolls buying Force India.  He then noticed that Toto Wolff had called and left a message. He put the phone on speaker, hit play and held his breath. “Scheisse Esteban, vee have no options any more. For now vee schadenfreude Valteri and see what happens ok? Call me. Auf Wiedersehen.” Ocon was shocked.  One minute he was deciding on two solid contract options for 2019 and suddenly he was faced with the reality of keeping George Russell company in the Merc simulator for a year. This wasn’t in the cards, but Ocon meditated on it and resolved to come out fighting at Spa.

 

With the passing of a wild four week summer break that will forever change the F1 landscape, the circus reconvened in Spa and everybody got back to the business of extracting speed from these insane machines.  It seemed that the 2019 driver market was for the most part settled and it was time to turn our attention back to the battle between Mercedes and Ferrari for the title. Ocon quickly reminded us that he’s the real deal by qualifying an amazing P3 in drying conditions. On Sunday Vettel slipped streamed past Lewis on the first lap and motored on to a resounding win and looked to be the clear favorite heading to Monza the following weekend.  Scoreboard: Lewis 231 – Vettel 214.

 

Ferrari confirmed their speed at Monza by locking out the front row of the grid, sending the Tifosi into a frenzy.  This should have been an amazing moment in the Ferrari garage, but there was a problem. The wrong man was on pole. The team had made a strategic error in track placement and it was Kimi who benefited from Vettel’s tow, producing the fastest lap ever recorded at 163.78mph (previously held by Montoya – Monza 2004).  Lewis was third, but it seemed that the race was destined to be a Ferrari parade.

 

As the lights went out both Ferrari’s made good getaways, but Lewis was in the slipstream and  applying the pressure. The leading trio managed to get through the treacherous 1-2 chicane still intact, but as they rounded the flat out Curva Grande, Lewis had a fantastic tow and made his move to the outside heading into the left-right Variante della Roggia.  Vettel moved to block, but they were now side by side under heavy braking. Lewis released his pedal a fraction earlier and found enough grip to make the corner and avoid taking to the curbs. Vettel suddenly found himself getting squeezed and after making brief contact, lost control and spun to back of the field.  

 

While Vettel was busy lighting up the rears in a cloud of smoke and rejoining at the tail end of the train, it was now Kimi vs Lewis with Monza glory on the line.  Lewis slipped streamed past Kimi into turn 1 on lap 4 after a brief safety car period, but Kimi was feeling racey on this day and tracked Lewis down through the Curva Grande, making an around the outside move stick and pulling away in clear air.  For a man who seldom passes anyone this was a great move, and perhaps spurred on by the energy of the Tifosi, Kimi quickly built a gap knowing all too well that a win at Monza would solidify his place in the team and earn another contract in the most coveted seat in all of motorsports.  

 

Only Mercedes had other plans and masterfully placed Bottas in front of Kimi after the leading pair made their one and only stops, allowing Lewis to apply the pressure and forcing Kimi to cook his tires while struggling to find a way past the sister Mercedes.  After ten laps, Kimi was defenseless with massive blisters in his rears, and Lewis pounced.

 

This was a heartbreaking defeat for Ferrari on home soil.  What should have been a 1-2 turned into a Lewis win and a points deficit that was going to be hard to make up.  Scoreboard: Lewis 256 – Vettel 226.

 

Later that night over triple cappuccinos and endless Marlboro’s, Maurizio Arrivabene broke the second place constructors trophy over his knee and screamed, “Kimi is Finito!  Call Leclerc.”

 

Over the next ten minutes, Arrivabene welcomed Leclerc to the Ferrari team in a scene right out of The Godfather.  He spoke of trust, loyalty, family, but also made it clear that the #1 seat was there for the taking, that the current #1 was showing signs of weakness, and that a Ferrari man can never show weakness.  Leclerc sounded excited but was audibly nervous as the enormity of the task was sinking in for the mild mannered 20 year old.

 

Leclerc:  I will try my best Mr Arrivabene

Arrivabene: Please Charles, you call me commendatore.  And I do not want your best, only titles will do.  

Leclerc: Yes sir I’ll be a great teammate to Sebastian

Arrivabene:  It’s commendatore Charles.  Please call me commendatore.

Leclerc: Of course commendatore

Arrivabene: Very well.  As I was saying, I don’t want another Rubens, another Massa, another Kimi.  I want a Schumacher Charles! Cappice? Can you be a Schumacher??

Leclerc:  I was just a small boy when Schumacher raced but I’ve heard his name before

Arrivabene:  Ah mama mia

Leclerc:  But I know I can beat Lewis sir, I mean commendatore.

Arrivabene:  That’s my boy.  I’ll send the plane to bring you to Maranello tomorrow morning to sign your contract.  Ciao

 

Arrivabene’s final act that evening before focusing on a bottle of grappa was to call Kimi and fire him over voicemail.  

 

While still trying to process the news, Leclerc phoned Sauber team boss Frederic Vasseur to tell him that he got the call.  Vasseur was sad to learn that he was losing his ace, but a light bulb was going off as they said their goodbyes. Kimi may not be the quickest anymore, but he puts butts in the seats and would significantly enhance their profile as they hit the sponsorship trail.  The very next morning Vasseur was able to track down the reclusive Finn preparing his dirt bike for a day of trail riding in the Swiss Alps and said, “Kimi I want you for 2 years, $30 million,” to which the Finn replied, “Ok sure” and hung up.

 

And just like that, the F1 world keeps spinning with a new frontier just over the horizon.

 

The End

 

2019 As We Know It

 

Mercedes – Hamilton, Bottas

Ferrari- Vettel, Leclerc

Red Bull – Verstappen, Gasly

Force India – Perez, $troll

Renault – Ricciardo, Hulkenberg

Haas – Magnussen (tbd), Grosjean (tbd)

McLaren – Sainz, Norris

Sauber – Kimi, TBD (Eric$$on, Giovinazzi, Vandoorne)

Toro Rosso – Major TBD (Kvyat??  – 3rd time’s a charm)

Williams – TBD ($irotkin, Kubica, $Markelov$, Ocon, Russell, Dale Jr, Jeff Gordon)

 

COMING SOON

-Beware…. Here Comes Indycar

-Fernando and the Triple Crown

-F The DRS

-Portland Indy Reflections

 

Be safe out there and Get Well Wickens!

Categories
2018 Racing Season

F1 2018 Preview

Happy days it’s March again.  Time for Spring weather, longer evenings, March Madness, sundresses (can I still say that?  Ok let’s call it shorts) and F1. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of March. For the true F1 fan, it’s a time for optimism and hope.  Hope that the engineers of the contenders have got all their sums right and are busy at work producing a car that is worthy of fighting the silver cars from Brackley.  Optimism that we are going to witness a fascinating 21 grand prix season with more plot twists and turns than a season of “Falcon Crest.” I’m not going to beat around the bush here, my gut feeling tells me that we are in for a burner of a year.  I’m talking 1981 vintage, or maybe more appropriately, 1986, where we had Prost in the McLaren snatch the title in the last round from Mansell in the Williams while Nelson Piquet was only 3 points adrift in the sister Williams. And don’t forget the the 4th player that year, young Ayrton in the difficult Lotus-Renault, who managed to grab 8 poles, 6 podiums and 2 wins out of the 16 rounds that comprised the championship.  Sound familiar? The buzzardly winds emanating out of Europe are speaking to me and I like what I’m hearing.

 

You may be asking why?  Why am I so bullish on 2018, with these gently whispering hybrid motors, that dreaded dirty air, and the hideous halos bolted over the drivers heads?  How can I make such a claim without even seeing true testing times due to rain and snow rendering Barcelona testing pointless to date? Bottom line, I’m betting big that Renault has made enough gains to allow Red Bull to fight Lewis and Seb from the green light in Melbourne all the way to the giant nightclub finale that is Yas Marina.  I witnessed the beginnings of this perfect storm brewing from the grandstand in Texas last fall, where Lewis and Seb were dueling for the win while Max was coming from last to third, and I envision 2018 as the continuation of this battle. Remember, over the last 6 GP’s of 2017, Max and Lewis were level at 100pts each. There are so many factors that are contributing to this perfect convergence of competitiveness, with 3 transcendent drivers leading 3 legendary teams, that I can’t wait to get to Melbourne to see this play out.  

 

THE BIG 3

 

It’s borderline crazy to publicly state that anyone will touch Mercedes in this turbo V-6 hybrid era, as Mercedes has racked up a remarkable 63 wins out of 79 races, but as we enter year 5 of this engine formula, it’s time for Ferrari and Renault to step up their game.

 

Mercedes-   Everything’s in place for Merc to continue their winning ways.  Lewis has nothing left to prove and is now driving for the record books and his love of competition.  He’s chasing history with 29 more wins needed to tie the Great Michael SchumiSchumacher and seems to be relishing the opportunity to fight with Max and Vettel.  Bottas is driving for his career and it will be fun to see which Bottas shows up this year? The 2017 car seemed to have a narrow set-up sweet spot that Lewis could drive around when necessary, but after a solid start, Valteri came back from summer break inexplicably a few tenths slower than Lewis and didn’t regain his form until Lewis had clinched the title.  I advise Bottas to pay Nico a visit to learn which buttons need to pressed to get under Lewis’s skin.

 

Red Bull-  As I mentioned above, if the Renault engine only gives away 2 tenths a lap to the Mercedes engine, then Adrian Newey’s chassis in the hands of Max and Ricciardo will be able to take the fight to Lewis.  Max is signed long term with the team and is primed to take over the sport. He may already be the best in the business at wheel to wheel racing and both his qualifying and race pace is phenomenal. Ricciardo is driving for a contract and will be desperate to keep up with Max.  He’s already been publicly lobbying for a seat at Mercedes so the interteam battle will be fascinating to watch. If he can step up into the Lewis, Seb, Max realm, then we will be in for a battle royal as Danny-Boy (or Rickey Rocket) is the most exciting overtaker in the game.

 

Ferrari-  Seb won 5 races last year and led the championship through much of the summer, but then made a critical error in judgement at the start of the Singapore GP and was further let down by mechanical issues in Japan that derailed his hopes of a 5th title and glory for the Tifosi.  It will be very interesting to see how Seb copes with Lewis and Max making life difficult for him. Seb seems to turn into a lunatic in a split second so his therapist may be the secret weapon that gets him back to the top. I’m envisioning the first 3 corners of last years Mexican GP becoming a theme in 2018.  And then there’s Kimi. Kimi’s best days are now well behind him and he’s officially a Ferrari employee trying to score constructors points and help Seb win the crown. I hope he proves me wrong and we see the Kimi from Monaco last year on a regular basis, but I’m afraid that 2018 will be Kimi’s last in the sport.

 

The Next Three

 

Last year there was a pretty significant gap from the big three to the rest, my hope is this year a next three or B league scrum forms that is swarming 15-20 seconds down the road at the flag from the leaders and making for great tv.

 

McLaren- McLaren and Alonso, I officially welcome you back to sharper end of the F1 grid.  My how we’ve missed you! I have a hard time seeing McLaren returning to their winning ways this year, but I can see Alonso playing the role of pest all season and grabbing a podium or two when the cards fall his way.  My feeling is it was such a late switch to the Renault powerplant that they won’t truly be up to speed until next year, but we can count on Alonso constantly starting on row 3 or 4 and going for any and all gaps. Vandoorne had a really low key rookie campaign and has the great misfortune of being teamed with a teammate crusher, but he showed signs of pace and will now be on display for the world to see as he navigates the battles in this fierce Next Three pack.  We need competition for Max in the future so let’s hope that he is a star in the making.

 

Renault-  It’s time for Renault to stop making excuses for their lack of competitiveness as they have been building up over the past two seasons and start delivering.  This is a factory team with huge resources and I’m sure the company board will start asking questions if they have nothing to show after 2018. In Hulkenberg and Sainz, they possess two drivers in their prime of their careers with much to prove.  For Hulkenberg, it’s a trip to the podium! It’s hard to believe that Hulkenberg is the F1 record holder for the most GP’s without a podium. And for Sainz, he’ll be driving to reclaim his seat at Red Bull and another chance to take on Max. The brilliance of Carlos has been hidden a bit at Toro Rosso and he’s still prone to a foolish mistake 1-2 times per year at the start of a race, but beware of the Spaniard as he now has a legit top 8 car to work with.  Here’s hoping for some epic Alonso-Sainz battles that spill over into the paddock and Spanish media. “Que estabas pensando idiota!?!?”

 

Force India-  If intersquad battles are your thing, then look no further than Force India as the upstart Ocon looks to gain control of the team over the experienced Sergio Perez in his second full season.  At one point last year after a scary coming together on the run down to Eau Rouge at Spa, Ocon tweeted:

 

Damage limitation today, we were having a good race until Perez tried to kill me 2 times! Anyway he didn’t manage to do so ending up P9!

 

Ok this might not have the significance of Senna driving Prost into the wall down the straight at Estoril in ‘88, but it’s pretty cool nonetheless.  Perez is a consistent, rapid driver who is top notch at managing tires throughout a race, but Ocon seems to have that special something and is on my radar as a future champion.  He is the property of Mercedes after all, so I could see him taking

This is getting awkward
This is getting awkward

over for a underperforming Bottas or a retiring Hamilton in the next 2 years. In Austin this past year he was on my buzzard radar all weekend and he passed everything that I’m looking for in a driver, including a dirt track moment in the mist where he kept his foot down and fought a massive 4 wheel drift for a few hundred yards.  What is it about the French GP driver? Overall, I’m predicting that Force India’s run of 4th place constructor championship points finishes is under threat from McLaren and Renault.

 

The Rest

 

What is one to do with the remaining four teams that compromise The Rest?  It seems like a lot of money spent just for the honor of being an F1 backmarker.  Miracles can happen though, as Sebastian Vettel demonstrated in the Toro Rosso by winning at Monzo in the wet in 2008.  Or how can one forget Fisichella’s win in the wet in Brazil in 2003 in the lowly Jordan-Ford. Fisi’s next best finish that year was a 7th on his way to 12th in the championship, while Jordan finished 9th out of 10 teams.  On paper the remaining four teams are all very professional racing outfits well stocked with brilliant engineers and talented drivers, but for various circumstances, are still chasing that elusive 1-2 seconds per lap necessary to be a real player.  In other words, sadly, there isn’t an AGS or Andrea Moda to marvel at the incompetency.

 

Williams- It’s sad to see this iconic, historically great team fall into this category but F1 can be a cruel business.  Williams start the year with two inexperienced young pay drivers in Stroll and Sirotkin attempting to extract the maximum out of Paddy Lowe’s first true design after a wildly successful spell at Mercedes.  Winning seems to follow Paddy so keep your eye on this package, but we may be left wondering in the coming years just how good the FW41 really was. It’s just disappointing to see a team that has Nigel-Mansell-Cappitted Jones vs Reutemann, Piquet vs Mansell, Hill vs Villeneuve, running drivers with no chance whatsoever.  I personally feel that they would have been much better off with an old man lineup of Massa and Kubica, or could have done something really cool like going after Felix Rosenqvist and Josef Newgarden. I think I know what Frank and Patrick Head would have done. In fact, any and all motorsport personnel decisions should be based on the question, well what would Frank and Patrick do?   

 

Haas- For a team to start from scratch and achieve what Haas has in their first two years is nothing short of amazing, but as they embark on year three, I’m still seeing them resigned to the 8th placed constructor.  Their partnership with Ferrari has been very beneficial in getting started and in Grosjean and Magnussen they have two drivers capable in getting after it. When Grosjean has a car to his liking he’s a top 10 talent, but his seemingly never ending frustration with the brakes supplied by both Brembo and Carbon Industrie have got to be sorted out immediately.  With Magnussen, they have an uncomplicated second generation racer who has a heavy right foot and no problem telling a rival to, “suck my balls” on tv after a race. Let’s see how long Gene Haas is happy to spend billions just to be #8 in this ultra competitive environment.

 

Toro Rosso-  Wouldn’t it be amazing if Honda got it right this year and propelled their little works team into the fight?  That would be about par for Alonso as he’s usually in the wrong team at the wrong time. Honda was showing signs of real progress towards the end of last year and I found it very telling when Brendon Hartley stated that his ‘18 Toro-Honda has more power than the Renault powered car that he drove at the end of last year.  But this is Scuderia Toro Rosso (formally Minardi) after all, so I expect that they will be relegated to keeping the Williams and Haas cars honest while the drivers fight each other to avoid the dreaded Franz Toast call into the office. Pink slips anyone? Gasly will have a lot of pressure because at 22 years old and the 2016 GP2 champ, his reputation will be at stake if he’s playing second fiddle to Hartley, who at 28 is a dinosaur by F1 rookie standards.  Hartley, with years of factory Porsche WEC and F1 simulator work may be an excellent development driver, but it makes me ask the question: Has the Red Bull young driver pipeline gone dry?

 

Sauber-  And last but not least, it looks like it will be Sauber yet again.  However, with a new significant Alfa Romeo partnership and access to more Ferrari components, this team should be able to avoid getting lonely out there and set their targets on Toro and Haas.  I’ll be very curious to see how Ferrari protege Charles Leclerc fares in his highly anticipated rookie campaign. He looked like a surefire next big thing in GP2 last season, but when I saw him drive in the damp FP1 in Texas, I wasn’t very impressed.  He was tender footing around at the bottom of the time sheets and did nothing that says future world champ. Hopefully he proves me wrong. If he routs veteran teammate Marcus Ericcson and scores a handful of points then he very well may be in Kimi’s seat for 2019.  

 

So after unloading that stream of consciousness, here are the official Bulseyeview picks for 2018:

 

  1. Hamilton – 7 wins
  2. Vettel – 5 Wins
  3. Verstappen – 5 wins
  4. Bottas – 2 wins
  5. Ricciardo –  2 wins
  6. Raikkonen
  7. Alonso
  8. Sainz
  9. Hulkenberg
  10. Ocon
  11. Perez
  12. Vandoorne
  13. Stroll
  14. Grosjean
  15. Sirotkin
  16. Magnussen
  17. Gasly
  18. Hartley
  19. Leclerc
  20. Ericcson

 

Enjoy the Show!

 

Categories
2016 Racing Season

F1 2016 Reflections

Witnessing 21 GP’s in a 37 week span has left me in a bit of a daze.  Toss in 16 Indy car races and 18 MotoGP’s in the same time-frame, on top of the millions of bits of information being spewed out of my iPhone on a daily basis and it’s a recipe for a classic case of information overload.  In an attempt to reminisce and pick out important moments that tell the story of F1 2016, I’m just seeing a streaming highlight reel of the lights going out and cars leaving starting grids, first corner melees, pitstops, DRS assisted passes, sparking skid plates, Max Verstappen, opposite lock, grid girls, Max Verstappen, Bernie’s face, Vettel temper tantrums, my wife giving me a dirty look, Max Verstappen, buzzards racing for a podium ceremony, Ricciardo drinking champagne from a boot, Massa waving a tearful goodbye while Verstappen goes by around the outside of somebody in the wet and finally, Rosberg celebrating the title.  Seriously, what just happened there?  

In the same 37 week span that Donald Trump pulled off the political shocker of a lifetime, Nico performed a minor miracle of his own by taking the fight to teammate Lewis Hamilton and winning the 2016 title.  Similar to the Donald/Hillary battle, Hamilton won the popular vote with 10 wins to Nico’s 9, 17 podiums to Nico’s 16, and 12 poles to Nico’s 8, but Nico was the more consistent performer week in and out and had zero mechanical DNF’s while Lewis suffered one lone catastrophic engine failure while leading in Sepang.  Lewis also had 3 qualifying mechanical issues and quickly went through his five engine allotment, causing him to take a mere 55 grid spot penalty at Spa and start dead last, gifting Nico a Sunday afternoon drive in the park.  And then there were the multiple flubbed starts where Lewis looked like he was dragging an anchor as he struggled to find the bite point in his clutch.   

 

Political Conspiracy Theory:  Mercedes did swap crews before the beginning of the year and one has to wonder if this was the determining factor that tilt the balance of power in Nico’s favor.   

Was there an unseen wave of discontent sweeping through the Mercedes garages among the rank and file employees over Lewis’s me-first antics and elitist celebrity lifestyle that we the fans were not aware of in our left leaning coastal enclaves?  We may never know until Lewis writes his tell all memoir, but it made for an intriguing battle for the sport’s most coveted prize.

 

And then the fun really began.  I’ll be honest, other than Max’s drive in Brazil and the Ricciardo/Max tussle in Malaysia for what ultimately led to the win, this was not a season for the ages.  But when a world champion retires unexpectedly in late November, igniting a raging silly season debate, all is good in the F1 world again.  So in the name of fun and games, here is my quick and dirty version of Nico’s Retirement Trickle Down Musical Chairs.

-Lewis needs a rapid partner, Merc wants a German, so Vettel comes on board

-Ferrari need an ace so they go buy out Ricciardo

-Red Bull want a constructors title so they grab Alonso

-McLaren need a #1 so they hire Bottas

-Williams then grab Perez claiming long term stability

-Causing Force India to go get Carlos Sainz Jr

-Toro Roso then grab Pascal Wehrlein

-And place Pierre Gasly with Manor

Damn I was hoping to include Renault, Haas and Sauber in this but it’s just not working out.

So here is my 2017 Grid:

Mercedes: Hamilton, Vettel

Red Bull:  Max, Alonso

Ferrari:  Ricciardo, Kimi

McLaren: Bottas, Vandoorne

Force India:  Sainz Jr, Ocon

Williams:  Perez, Stroll

Toro Roso: Wehrlein, Kvyat

Haas: Grosjean, Magnussen

Renault: Hulkenberg, Palmer

Sauber: Ericsson, Nasr

Manor: Gasly, LeClerc

Totally farcical, but you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t be counting the days to Melbourne if that was the new lineup.  

One thing is for certain, there is new talent coming up through the ranks and the departures of Nico, JB and Massa are going to open doors for these new kids to show their stuff.  In fact, there should be a new rule against a driver overstaying his useful life and keeping the new blood from moving up.  At a certain point around 35, a driver really is just pounding around for dollars and doesn’t possess the same passion and fire that he (or she) had at 25.  It’s human nature in any sporting endeavor.

So, the new rule is as follows:

No driver shall be able to participate in a F1 race over the age of 35 unless they have been granted a past champions extension.  To be granted this extension, a past F1 World Champion can elect to continue racing for an additional season over the age of 35 for each championship that they have won.  For instance, Alonso is 35 but has two titles so he can race to 37.  Jenson Button at 36 just used his 1 year champions extension so he is timed out.  Massa at 35 is also timed out.  And I hate to say it, but Kimi at 37 is also one year past his expiration date.  

Message to Massa and JB:  Thanks for entertaining us for many years and a heartfelt congrats on all of your successes, now off to sports cars you go.  I hope to see you piloting a Ferrari GT or prototype machine a track near me soon.

Now back to the subject of Nico deciding to turn in his gloves after finally reaching the pinnacle at the relatively young age of 31.  There has been plenty of speculation, but in my opinion it sounds like he sold his soul to beat Lewis and just doesn’t have it in him to dig that deep again.  Fair enough, champions seldom repeat in any sport and F1 drivers are no different.  Here then, is a look back at how a few noteworthy past champions defended or headed for the hills following a title run (from 1981-Present):

1981 – 1982: To close out the ‘81 season, Nelson Piquet in a Brabham snatched the title from Carlos Reutemann and Jacques Laffitte at the final round in the parking lot of Caesars Palace.  The next season, Brabham switched from a Cosworth V-8 to a BMW Turbo powerplant and Mr Piquet, not keen on being a test mule, finished a lowly 11th in the championship.

1984 – 1985:  In the ‘84 season Niki Lauda clearly tempted the law of averages to beat Alain Prost by ½ point for the title, because in ‘85, Prost won the title and outscored Lauda 73-14.  Note- Lauda was 36 years old during the ‘85 season.  Note II:  Former 1980 world champion, Alan Jones, came out of retirement with a solid Fosters beer belly to drive around in the original Haas F1 team.  

1987 – 1988:  Nelson Piquet won the ‘87 title after two seasons of insane psychological warfare with teammate Nigel Mansell and decided to bolt for Team Camel Lotus and teammate Satoru Nakajima.  In ‘88 Piquet drove for dollars to 6th in the championship, just ahead of Ivan Capelli and Derek Warwick.

1992 – 1993:  Ah the glory days of bizarre behavior and driver feuds!  Nigel Mansell blitzed the field in ‘92 in the potent Williams FW14B and then decided to leave F1 altogether for CART!!  Alain Prost, who was fired by Ferrari near the end of the ‘91 season and sat out ‘92, was drafted in to continue the Williams dominance with Damon Hill as his teammate and won the title in his sleep.  And to top it off, Prost then retired for good with his 4th title to make way for Ayrton at Williams in ‘94.  ‘93 Fun flashback –  Ayrton  was partnered by Michael Andretti for 13 rounds with an under-powered Cosworth V-8 and a young lad named Schumacher won his first GP in Estoril.

1995 – 1996 – 1997:  After winning the ‘94 and ‘95 titles for Benetton, Schumacher left the team to restore glory to a Ferrari team in disarray.  This opened the door for Damon Hill to beat his rookie teammate Jacques Villeneuve to the ‘96 title while Schumi finished 3rd, some 40 plus points behind Hill.  Damon Hill then couldn’t put together a deal with Williams to defend his title so he spent the ‘97 season plunking around in a Arrows-Yamaha and finished a lowly 12th in points!

Mika Hakkinen:  After striking a deal with Ukko, the Mythical Finnish God of the sky, weather and crops, to win the ‘98 and ‘99 titles over Schumacher and finishing a fighting 2nd to Schumi in 2000, Mika lost the fire in 2001 and hung up his helmet at the end of the season.  Age – 33.  Perhaps Mika accelerated his motivational curve by 2-3 years due to too many years of being sponsored by Marlboro and West?

Michael Schumacher:  After rewriting the record book at Ferrari, Michael was defeated by a young Alonso in 2005 and 2006 and decided to go play with motorcycles.  Note: In 2005, Michael Schumacher was 36 years old!  And of course then the crazy SOB came back at 41 to take on Rosberg at Mercedes for 3 years.  (But then again Michael did qualify for 7 extra years of racing due to his 7 titles!)

Alright enough with the history lesson.  We know that Kimi won a title at Ferrari and the following year was no match for Massa.  The lesson here is Nico is not unique to running out of motivation.  It’s happens, and good on him to get out while he’s on top.  It must burn Hamilton to know that he isn’t going to get the opportunity for revenge.  

The question of the day is:  Will Nico be able to stay away for good as he has indicated?  Changing diapers and hanging out with the wife is great and all, but to go from F1 hero to domestic dad in a week will be a shocker.  Especially when Ferrari may be looking for a Kimi replacement at the end of next season.  Like many before him, he may have to ease into this retirement business with the DTM or a LeMans program.  Then again who knows, I saw him trying to lead the Tifosi through ‘Seven Nation Army’ on the podium this year so maybe he has the German pop charts next in his sights?

 

Well Happy Holidays and here’s to hoping that 2017 will bring about another golden era of the sport.  The driving talent is there and the new cars look pretty awesome on paper, so let the design race begin and bring on Melbourne.

And a shout out to Simon Pagenaud, Marc Marquez, and Jimmy Johnson for taking care of business.