Being a lifelong sports addict, I’ve suffered through many a blue Monday after witnessing my team suffer a crushing defeat. But a Monday morning after watching the Niners lose an NFC title game to a divisional rival because of a brilliant play made by Richard Fucking Sherman…..unbearable! The world just doesn’t seem right on a day like this. How can NaVorro Bowman suffer a career threatening injury while Richard Fucking Sherman gets to play on? The dark side has prevailed. Richard Fucking Sherman. How many times do I have to say “Richard Fucking Sherman!!” before the sting starts to fade? I’m initiating a Kickstarter campaign tomorrow to secure funds for my new non profit that manufactures life sized Richard Fucking Sherman punching bags and distributes them to underprivileged children and senior assisted living homes throughout The City.
“Go ahead kids, take a break and beat the Richard Sherman bag.”
The Bay Area has a new public enemy #1 and I think it’s safe to say there will be blood the next time the two teams meet. I still clench my teeth and ball up the fists when I think back to the days of Michael Irving and Jimmy “How ‘Bout Them Cowboys” Johnson, but this is a new sensation. At least you had to respect the what the Cowboys accomplished. This punk makes one play and anoints himself the greatest ever while disrespecting his opponent? This sort of BS cannot be tolerated. I’m a proponent of athletes expressing their individualism, but Richard Fucking Sherman crossed the line. Seattle fans had better watch their backs for a few weeks around these parts because I’m sensing some hooliganism in the air.
(Hold on I need to take a push-up break…now doing some deep breathing…okay much better. If I only had that Sherman bag to take out this aggression on…)
Let’s hope that Commissioner Goodell levies a heavy fine and puts the Stanford educated Sherman on the apology circuit to convey the message to the millions of kids watching yesterday that it’s not cool to act like Randy Macho Man Savage after winning a ball game.
And if it didn’t feel like a rivalry before yesterday, it sure does now. Watching these two foes square off again next year will be must see TV. In the meantime, l’ll be dreaming of Peyton Manning beating Richard Fucking Sherman with a fade route to the corner to win the Super Bowl! Go Broncos!