Categories
2014 Racing Season

We are Green!

RACE FANS……TO YOUR COUCHES!

It’s that time of year again!  Time for Monaco, The Soda 600 and The Indy 500.  For Indycar, it’s a chance to step out of the shadows of obscurity and into the national media spotlight.  For one day only, open wheel racing in The USA stages “The Greatest Spectacle in Racing” and moves from the back page of the sports page to the lead story on ESPN.

Here is what I’m envisioning:

ESPN SportsCenter Anchor Stuart Scott:  “And on the final corner my main man Simon Pagenaud was as cool as the underside of the pillow as he stuck to the back of Andretti like a cheap suit and then, BOOYAAA, like Adrian Peterson abusing a safety, Simon got busy and took the checkers!  More on the little Frenchman’s improbable run to Indy glory coming up later in the show but now back over to Sal Paolantonio for the latest on Johnny Manziel’s left testicle injury suffered in spring drills.”

Sadly, for the couple hundred thousand of us hardcore fans who will tune into watch the race live on ABC, we will have to listen to the crap banter between Scott Goodyear and Eddie Cheever as they explain the nuances of the race to racing neophytes.  New Rule:  Steve Matchett should be involved with all motorsport broadcasts in America!

Regardless of the TV situation, there will be plenty of intrigue to follow at The 500.

 

Here are three levels of intrigue:

 

Grade A Intrigue:

The Returns of Montoya and Villeneuve:  Clinging to the romantic notion that F1 is the end all-be all of motorsport, I still get excited when F1 legends cross over to the Brickyard.  Memories of Mansell rolling around in the grass with Dennis Vitolo or Nelson Piquet shattering his legs in practice are hard to forget.  And how can one dismiss the confounding scenario that took place just last year when my all time favorite driver, Jean Alesi, came out of deep retirement in the guise of a Lotus Ambassador to plunk around in a pathetically under-powered car prepped by a mid pack Indy Lights team!  What was he thinking??  Anyways, Montoya and JV are no strangers to turning left and it will be exciting to track their progress.  JPM should contend.  JV, not so much.

 

Kurt Busch:  For the first time since Tony Stewart finished 6th in the 2001 Indy 500, we have a bonafide Nascar hero driving in the race.  While Busch may be a polarizing personality*, there is no denying that he is a mega talent behind the wheel. (*I prefer the old eccentric, pre ear job KB who used to win titles, occasionally get arrested and seemed to fight Harvick once or twice a year).  Busch should have no trouble getting comfortable running in the draft, but I hope the ABC director has a camera on him when it comes time to execute his first green flag pit stop and green flag out lap.  Braking from 225 down to the pit speed limit while the adrenaline is flowing in a foreign car sounds like a recipe for disaster.  Hopefully, he keeps the car off the wall and inspires his brother to join next year.  Side note:  Remember a few years ago when Kyle Busch was being mentioned with a couple of F1 rides?

 

Grade B Intrigue

 

Sage Karam: This is the story line with the potential for a Hollywood ending that could put Indycar on the map and connect the series to the ever so elusive Millennial demographic. An all American 19 year old high school kid with a unique name and movie star looks from Andrettiville, PA (aka Nazareth) making his first ever Indycar start in the 500 for the Chip Ganassi stable.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  And I’ve read something about a feud with the Andretti family?  Brilliant.  I hope he is the chosen one.

 

Marco Andretti: Is this the year Marco breaks through and ends the Andretti curse?  It’s hard to fathom that from 1966 through this past year, the Andretti family collectively has one lone victory in the 500.  Thousands of laps led yet only one win   Marco comes in as the Vegas favorite to win.  He’s bound to get one at some point.

 

Buddy Lazier:  The ‘96 Indy 500 winner will start last and likely be the slowest car on the track, but seeing that name makes me nostalgic for early IRL shenanigans .  Trivia question:  What do Tony Stewart, Michele Alboreto, Racin Gardner, John Paul Jr, Danny Ongais and Lynn St James have in common?  Answer:  They all took part in the ‘96 Indy 500.  Very peculiar if you ask me.  Well done Tony George.

 

Grade C Intrigue

 

The Colombians!  JPM, Seb Saavedra, Carlos Huertas and Carlos Munoz will start the race on Sunday representing Columbia.  The only country to have more than 4 drivers in the race is the USA.  I don’t know what the level of fervor is for these young gents at the moment in their homeland, but provided there is no soccer match on at the same time, the country will be glued to their television sets rooting these guys on.  (Note to self- find a Colombian bar to watch the race in)

 

Helio Castro Neves:  With a win on Sunday, Helio would have 4 Indy 500 wins matching AJ Foyt, Al Unser Sr and Rick Mears for the most by any man or woman.  I don’t know about you but that just doesn’t seem right.  For the sake of proper records, early IRL wins should not be counted.

 

Anybody not in a Penske, Ganassi or Andretti car contending:  Since Montoya’s win in 2000, only 3 drivers not in a Penske, Chipper or Andretti car have won the race.  Best bets this year look to be Simon Pagenaud, Ed Carpenter and Josef Newgarden.  Don’t sleep on once a year driver Townsend Bell either.  Or Justin WIlson.  Or Oriol Servia.  Or…….?

That’s the beauty of The 500!

 

Monaco Spoiler Alert

 

Mercedes finishes 1, 2 with Rosberg winning for a second year in a row!  Okay that may only be the grid but the race in Monaco is won in Q3.  Tomorrow is just the parade.  Well played Nico!  Way to park the car Schumi style and force Hamilton to abort his flyer.  Very Professorial Prost like in application.  But like Prost in ‘89, when your teammate has the pace, you have to resort to psychological tricks to win the war.

 

And Seb Vettel??  Wow, he is now the clear cut #2 with Kyvatt waiting in the wings to take his seat.  Will he go down as a man who had to have a trick diffuser to win?  I’m starting to wonder.

My TV plan of attack: Day starts at 6:45am with a recorded version of Monaco and I’ll try to time the crossover to live Indy coverage just as Jim Nabors is hitting the final notes of “Back Home Again in Indiana.”  This way I’ll be able to catch the awkward command by Mari Hulman George to “Start Engines” and get my game face on. The Soda 600 will be watched in SC highlights brought to me, of course, by the great Stuart Scott.

Let’s hope we have a spectacular AND SAFE day on the couch!

Categories
2014 Racing Season

Mercedes Whitewash?

The opening 4 flyaway rounds of 2014 are in the books and the tally is 3-1 in favor of Lewis.  In reality, it should be 4-0, but Lewis was plagued by mechanical gremlins from the outset of the opening race and has suffered the only Mercedes retirement of the year to date.  Nico turned in a valiant effort under the lights at the Sakhir Circuit in Bahrain and has done a nice job of riding shotgun, but Lewis has otherworldly speed that only a handful of peddlers have ever possessed.

For the sake of keeping the championship interesting, I’m scoring it like a soccer match.  It’s simply a two car race with teammates free to fight it out, reminiscent of the 1988 campaign.  That season the mighty McLaren team won 15/16 rounds and Ayrton won the battle with Prost 8-7.  Can Mercedes top that and win every round?  Can Nico continue his run of 100% reliability and pounce when Hamilton hits trouble?  This is the hand we’ve been dealt in the new “easy on the ears” 1.6 litre V-6 turbo era.

It sounds a bit premature, but for the rest of the pitlane, this weekends Spanish GP marks the final chance to see if they have a sniff at a race win this season.  Each team has now had a few weeks to hunker down at their headquarters and address whatever issues hampered them in the opening rounds.  Major upgrades will be unveiled, and there will be 11 nervous team managers watching the timing monitors come Friday morning.  Bottom line, if you are still over one second behind after this weekend, it’s time to start holding 2015 meetings.

The racing may not be vintage at the moment, but F1 is always full of drama and intrigue.  If I possessed a super all access Bernie hard card deluxe pass, here is how I would play the weekend:

Thursday afternoon I would love to see both Vettel and Ricciardo arrive at the Red Bull garage.  Would Vettel be all smiles as he arrived?  Or conversely, would the team be all smiles for Seb now that he is the clear cut #2 driver?  Okay that may be a tad over the top, but it’s been shocking to see Vettel outperformed in 3 of the 4 races by a relative newcomer.  We know that Vettel is not fond of losing, so has the psychological warfare between teammates begun?

On Friday morning, I would have to be a fly on the wall in the Renault engine transporter as the telemetry starts streaming in after the cars take to the circuit.  The troops in Viry-Châtillon have no doubt been working furiously to close the gap to Mercedes, and the long .651 mile front straight at the Circuit de Catalunya will be the ultimate test. If they can reduce the absurd 22kph differential that they had in China down to something in single digits, Ricciardo, yes Ricciardo, may just be able to exploit the Newey aero tricks and take the fight to the Mercs.

After FP1, I would hit the Ferrari garage to gauge Kimi’s level of interest.  Alonso has buried the Finn, who can’t seem to adapt his driving style to the car, and I’m wondering if Kimi already has that far away look in his eyes?  Kimi may be the only man on the planet capable of being bored with being a Ferrari F1 driver, and with his championship aspirations already totally shot, he could be dreaming of Nascar, WRC, dirt bikes, or debauchery.

For lunch, I’m thinking I’ll stay at Ferrari for pasta to observe how new team boss Marco Mattiacci is settling in at the helm of the most pressure cooker seat in motor racing.

For FP2, I’m hitting the circuit on foot to see what makes Russian teenage sensation Daniil Kvyat so special.  Kevin Magnussen may have grabbed all the headlines after his amazing performance in Australia, but it’s been Kvyat who I would consider the rookie of the year.  I got to witness Daniil in Austin last year under braking at the end of the long back straight and he was not very precise, but he was clearly exploring the limits.  With everybody starting out in the same boat this season due to the major rule changes, Kvyat is not as disadvantaged as rookies in the past and is doing great things in the Toro Rosso.  In fact, 3 top 10’s in 4 races and one trip to Q3 is pretty mega for a teen out of GP3!  Red Bull clearly have found another gem and when you play the totally unfounded, unscientific driver comparison game, Kvyat is faring about the same alongside JEV as Ricciardo did last year, and Ricciardo is clearly better than Vettel. Therefore, is Kvyat also better than Vettel?  Love it.  Let the debating begin.

To close out my day I would stop into the Mercedes debrief to get a sense if they are even pushing and what type of downforce they are running compared to the others.

My Friday night is reserved for an open air three hour dinner with prime views of the evening strollers.

On Saturday, I’m all about Alonso buzzardry.  This race really should be called The Alonso GP of Spain.  I’m standing in the middle of the sea of Asturia flags and Ferrari red for qualifying, downing a few cans of San Miguel and screaming like a teenage girl at a One Direction concert every time our hero passes by. Fernando has been complaining about low speed grip all season and with Barcelona having mainly middle and high speed corners, Alonso may be able to keep the silver cars in sight.  Ole ole ole ole…. Alonso Alonso!

After qualifying, I’m sitting in on the Mercedes strategy session to see how they plan on conquering on Sunday.  It would be fascinating to see how each side of the garage arrives at their tire strategy and then pitches it to the top brass.  What if they want to stop on the same lap?  Does the car in front get to make the 1st call?  What is plan B?  What if they are on different strategies and the car behind is clearly quicker?  Do they move over for one another and let it play out? Nice problems to have!

Saturday night I’m seeking out DJ Jaime Alguersuari and partying like a Spaniard into the wee hours.

Sunday, after hanging out in the Kobayashi area at Caterham all morning downing coffee and staring at my idol, I’m heading out to the best seat in the turn 1 grandstand and watching it all unfold.  Hopefully, we have a Mercedes duel and a reinvigorated chase pack fighting for 3rd.

Now about getting this hard card!

 

Kobe Krash

Categories
Other Sports

Natural Bubba

The mere mention of The Masters is as stale as a 10 day old slice of Little Caesars Pizza sitting on a table in a college dorm room, but there is something about Bubba’s second win in three years that keeps nagging me.

We know that Bubba is a man with quirks galore.  This has been covered from every angle imaginable.

A few examples:

  • He owns the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard fame
  • He has a hovercraft golf cart
  • He has a penchant for crying during a mundane press conference
  • He hits a pink driver
  • He buttons his shirt to the top button
  • He is married to a Canadian former pro hoop player who dwarfs the man
  • He celebrated his latest Masters triumph with his wife and pastor at a local Waffle House

For some reason, he reminds me of a cross between a character out of Dan Jenkin’s fantastic novel, “Dead Solid Perfect,” and a Christian version of Big Earn McCracken.  I would pay to see his antics during a off camera mid week pro am event.  By all accounts he’s a deeply religious man who doesn’t partake in 19th hole revelry, but I still see a complete wild man.

Regardless of who Bubba the man is, what fascinates me is how he got to where he is today.  He’s a genuine natural phenomenon.  A grip it and rip it muni man to the core who never once had a lesson yet is capable of winning on golf’s grandest stage.  He’s a low budget kid from small town Bagdad, Florida who grew up learning the game by hitting Whiffle balls with a 5 iron.

This type of success isn’t supposed to happen anymore.   It’s extremely rare in this day of IMG academies, personal coaches, trainers, nonstop camps, tournaments and clinics for a natural to slip through the cracks unscathed and reach the pinnacle of sport.  Seeing Bubba bend that stupefying shot on the 10th hole at Augusta in 2012 is akin to witnessing an Amur Tiger hunt in the wild.  It’s rare.  It’s wonderful.

And welcoming!  I miss the days of artistic originality in athletes.  What ever happened to George Gervin’s finger-roll, Rod Carew’s batting stance, Walter Payton’s high-steppin or Jamaal Wilkes’s release?  Today they would have had those habits drilled out of them by the age of 12.  This culture of kids only focusing on one sport year round may make the average players better than past generations, but it may also serve to stifle the creativity and evolution of a natural.

Marveling over Bubba conjures up thoughts of my favorite natural, Joe Montana.  Joe had an uncanny ability to rapidly process information, improvise, and see angles before they actually developed.  He was not your prototypical combine QB at 6’2” and 200lbs dressed in pads.  He was more of an artist who did what came naturally in the flow.  A bit like Bubba demonstrated a few weeks back.  A Regular Guy Superhero if you will.  It’s hard to imagine walking in the shoes of a LeBron or Blake Griffin because they are so athletically superior, but most can relate to walking around in a Bubba-esque body.  If only I could crush a 325 yard drive through an opening the size of my kitchen.